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These five are one story. Read them in order if you can. Everything else on this site grows out of them.

At seven I learned the world isn’t safe, and I started asking where God goes on Mondays. Years later, as a father, I lost the last illusion that I could keep my children from what I had suffered. For a long time I tried to prove I mattered by achievement. Then I began to tell the truth instead. The tension is still there — not resolved. Just held.

The five stories

  1. The Playground

    Seven years old, face down in the mud. Being good and smart did not keep me safe.

  2. The Dog in the Lake

    On the walk to school I watched cruelty I could not stop — and wondered where Jesus was on a Monday.

  3. The Ceramic Floor

    Kneeling on hard tile after my child was hurt. Control was gone. Words ran out.

  4. The Weight I Couldn’t Carry

    I spent decades trying to prove I mattered. Then I started telling the truth about what happened.

  5. Trust at 4AM

    Awake before dawn, still wanting a world where people can afford to trust. The ache remains.

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